Scene 68: Doctor Who FanScript Extract

So, I was sorting out all my stuff on my computer today, trying to get enough space to render this footage I needed when I came across an old script of mine I never thought I'd see again - Swarm Science, a Doctor Who script I actually tried to send to the BBC! 

It's not that great - re-reading the beginning I'd probably get the action going much quicker now if I rewrote this  -  but I actually did a lot of research on the 1920's for this script, and spent quite a bit of time on it, so despite it not going anywhere I guess it was good practise for future scripts. 

Anyway, I thought I'd share some on the blog since I've been so  busy and uninspired to write, which has meant I haven't written a proper post or review in ages. I hope this bridges the gap and makes up for it a bit - and its a bit of fun for all the Doctor Who fans out there!

EXT. CITY STREET: DAY 

March 1925 - a busy high street.

A fashionably dressed girl on a bicycle LOUISE ’LULU’ HEATLEY (26), in a cloche brakes in front of a cafe.

She locks up the bicycle and goes inside. 

CUT TO:

INT. CAFE, UPSTAIRS DINING-ROOM: DAY

Lulu dodges round the tables and the waitresses to a table by the window where EDITH MARSH (25) is lounging, as she fiddles with a cigarette case whilst talking idly to DENIS BARNES (27), who is picking a slice of lemon out his gin and tonic.

LULU 
Am I late?

EDITH 
No, no, you’re on time actually. I ordered a pot of tea for us to share.

LULU 
Oh, merci. 

Lulu pulls up a seat, putting down a bag and a green hardback volume of Vasari’s Lives. She pushes a pair of round glasses up her nose, and begins to pour herself a cup of tea.

LULU
Do we know when the train goes?

DENIS
Four.

LULU
Good. I’ll have time to fetch my luggage from home. I’ve been really looking forward to seeing you two, and going on this sojourn to London.

EDITH
Me too, dear. Wait til I show you

my rooms, I’ve had them decorated. And we must go and see that

new play, the Vortex.

DENIS
And that new dance club. But let’s eat first, shall we? 

Denis picks up a menu.

LULU
Yes, I’m as hungry as a wolf.

CUT TO:

EXT. FACTORY YARD: DAY

An abandoned factory yard, walled in, with a rusty gate hanging loose.

A couple of workmen are walking beside the wall. MAURICE SIMMONS, 42, with a slight limp, pushing a bike, and BILL WALKER, 25, with a burn mark on his face.

They pause by the gates and look up at the factory. A cloud of black is rising from one of the old chimneys.

BILL
Hey, there’s smoke rising from over there. Has that factory re-opened?

MAURICE
Don’t think so. (beat) It’s probably just a load of homeless people in there.

The smoke tails off.

MAURICE CONT’D 
Come on, we need to get a move on. We can cut through here.

BILL
Isn’t it shorter through town?

MAURICE
Nah, trust me. I used to work  round here before they started making tanks. 

Maurice opens the gates and they walk through. 

CUT TO:

INT. CAFE, UPSTAIRS DINING ROOM: DAY

The table is covered in the remnants of luncheon.

EDITH
What now? We still have a couple of hours.

DENIS
There’s the pictures I suppose. I mean, there’s not much else down here to do, is there? It’s all rather industrial and rural...

EDITH
Good idea. What’s showing?

DENIS 
I don’t know.

LULU
Take a look in the paper, theyalways have cinema listings.

DENIS
I never buy local papers.

EDITH
Ask to borrow someone’s then.

Lulu frowns. They look about the cafe. There are well-dressed ladies drinking delicately. A young couple smoking and flirting near the staircase. A pair of imposing looking older men are talking gruffly

about business.

And...sat alone at the table is a MAN in eccentric attire with his feet up on a chair, fiddling with what looks like a manual egg whisk.

His table is a jumble of stuff - a book in a foreign language, cups, plates with half eaten toast and scones, pots of jam, a pot of tea, a newspaper and several bits of wire.

LULU
Voila. Go on Denis.

DENIS(pulls face) 
Ask him?

LULU
Why not?

EDITH
Look at his table. He looks a bit odd.

DENIS
He is odd. I saw him stirring butter into his tea just before you arrived.

LULU
So?

DENIS
So I’m not talking to him.

LULU
Fine. I’ll go.

She gets up and walks over, faltering by the table for a moment.

LULU(shyly) 
Excuse me? 

The man doesn’t look up.

DOCTOR
Black coffee with two sugars and a slice of lime, and are you sure you don’t have any...

The man looks up.

DOCTOR
Oh, (big smile) g’day.

LULU
Good afternoon. Sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if I might borrow your newspaper? I want to check the listings for the movies.

DOCTOR
Ah, good old silent movies.

He pulls the paper out from under a pile of plates, and hands it to her.

DOCTOR
Who’s your favourite? Buster Keaton, Lilian Gish, Charlie Chaplin...

LULU
Max Linder. I used to watch his movies when I was a child in Paris.

DOCTOR
Really? You don’t sound Parisian?

LULU
Oh, don’t be put off by my accent. I was born there, but my father was English, and we moved here when I was young...

Note: Original characters copyright KCS, Doctor Who belongs to the BBC.

Scene 67: Five Films in Fifty Words Review

So after a unintended long absence from writing this blog I have returned. And in my absence I have not only managed to shot a short film based on one of my own scripts and write a spec script, but I have managed to watch about nine or ten Woody Allen films.

Now I guess I could review one of those films tonight, but I thought, why not try something a little different to celebrate coming back to my blog, so I'm going to review five Woody Allen films in  fifty words each. Here it goes...


[1] Manhattan (1979) 

I felt this film went over my head a little. However, the opening narration is brilliant and the whole film is shot beautifully by Gordon Willis in black and white, with some stand-out compostions of the scenes. Including a scene in Isaac's flat and the walk through the planetieurm.

[2] Hollywood Ending (2002)

Film has a great concept - a once famous director is given one last shot at getting back into movies again when he suddenly goes blind. What does he do? Keep shooting the film anyway. The romance feels rather weak and the ending rushed, but good fun all the same. 

[3] A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)

Set in the countryside, this film is full of gorgeous shots of nature and a lovely montage of the cast doing summer things. A Shakespearian like comedy of love, that looks at interesting human conundrums about sex and love - and it has a flying bicycle. 

[4] Everyone Says I Love You (1996) 

A wild ride through one year with a family entangled in different kinds of love. This musical is not only funny, but full of stars, including a singing Tim Roth! The action moves between New York, Paris and Venice - and ends with a fantastic gravity-defying dance scene.

[5] To Rome With Love (2012)

An anthology of story threads all set in Rome. The location is lovely and sun filled, and the stories all amusing, though slightly silly. My favourite was the most straight forward tale - a trip down memory lane, with Alec Baldwin playing an architect thinking back to his student days.

Scene 66: More Script Extract

Let's be honest, if you've been reading this blog with any regularity you'll know I can be a bit patchy and inconsistent with my posts - though I do try and post every week, and make for weeks I've missed. 

I can at least say that whilst I have not been writing my blog for the last week or two, I have managed to finish a script instead, and I don't mean a 15 page short, this is a full 67 page draft script of a television pilot. 

I've been working on it for a long time - as is the nature of writing - and at one point I even created a little story board/ outline thing out of post it notes on my wall.

Though of course elements of the story have changed since then! 

The current draft needs work too and will probably change as well, but I'm still pleased I have completed a full draft anyway and have managed to actually adhere to some of the scriptwriting advice I've mentioned on this blog. Remember Joss Whedon saying 'finish it' in my Five Screenwriting Tips post?

Anyway, I thought as you guys are so patient and seem to take a interest in my script extracts  - one has been viewed 107 times - that I'd be generous and post up a scene from my draft. All copyright applies etc. 

INT. HOSPITAL CORRIDOR, N&N HOSP: MORNING

Marion is stood at the nurses' station glaring over the desk at a scared young nurse. Alison, Hank and Lee come down the corridor to them.

ALISON
(to the nurse)
I got your call. What's happened?

MARION
He's gone!

ALISON
Gone?

MARION
He's not in his room. His clothes are gone and I found this in there with his wallet.

She shows Alison a scrawled note: SORRY, BORROWED MONEY. WILL REPAY.

ALISON
Strange. He may not have gone far though. Has anyone seen him?

MARION
Well she... (points accusingly at nurse) Certainly hasn't.

LEE
'Cuse me..

Alison turns to the nurse too.

ALISON
Wasn't there someone at the station?

NURSE
I don't know. Everyone was busy, the station might have been...

ALISON
Left unmanned? Christ. (to Marion) Ms Reid, I'm so sorry about this.

LEE
'Cuse me. But we need to talk to this guy, remember? And you're telling me he's wandered off?

ALISON
I...

MARION
And who are you?

HANK
Hank Baker, Canadian embassy mam.

Lee
Lee Turner, MOD.

MARION
MOD? You must have made a mistake. My brother is a restaurant owner. He's only been in London like a week, why do you want to talk to him?

HANK
That's classified.

MARION
Well so's he. 

LEE
Look, I know this is probably a bad time...

MARION
A bad time! My brother has brain damage for Christ's sake. He doesn't even know who is!

LEE
Doctor Haywood has explained his condition thank you. Now don't you think we should try and find Mr Reid? What state was he in? Could he have left the hospital?

ALISON
Probably, if he can write and dress himself, then he's motor skills and balance must be fine. But he's still recovering from the infection. How far he's got (she shakes her head)... I don't know.

LEE
We should check the CCTV. (to Alison and Marion) Can you give us a description of him?

Hank opens his folder and pulls out a photocopy of Charlie's passport.

HANK
He looks... wait.

He shows Lee the photocopy.

HANK
Look familiar?

LEE
(can't quite believe it)
Yes.

ALISON
You've seen him?

MARION
Where?!

LEE
Outside. He walked past us towards Great Ormond Street.

MARION
So, he's out in London. Alone! This just gets better and better! 

ALISON
We have to alert the police.

HANK
Wait, his phone! You said he left his wallet. Did he leave his phone?

MARION
Err...no.

HANK
Was it on?

MARION
It's always on.

HANK
Great. Give me his number.

Hank pulls out his phone.

HANK CONT'D 
We can try and track down his phone via GPS. Locate him Bond style.

LEE
(pleasantly surprised)
Good thinking. 

Hank dials his phone.

HANK
Hey Andy, its Baker. I need you to track a phone for me....

CUT TO:

(C) KCS 21/7/2013

Scene 65: Review of Dan Vs.

I've always found it interesting and a little surreal to think back to what got me into a television series I've loved. Most of the time my favourite shows were just recommended to me, or other people were watching them, such as How I Met Your Mother or Game of Thrones - but, occasionally, I search out a show because I see something that just catches my attention and intrigues me.  

This time it was memes featuring a guy in a black T-shirt with JERK on the front and sharp teeth. They intrigued me. Who was cartoon character that just oozed annoyed, and mean? It was Dan, from Dan Vs. 

So first a little background. Dan Vs. is a Flash animation created by two friends, Dan Mandel and Chris Pearson, and the two main characters in the show are not only named after them, but are apparently based somewhat on their own negative traits. So far the show has run for three seasons on the Hub Network.

The show is basically about this guy called Dan who has anger issues, and when he gets angry- either with something, someone or even a whole country or state - he explodes with rage and goes on a quest for revenge. These quest for revenge can often start of quite mundane, but can often have very surreal twists to them, for example in one episode Dan's cookies are stolen - by a ninja. 

Being dragged along on all these adventures are Dan's best friend and sidekick Chris, a nice guy with a more than healthy appetite, who generally pays for everything and drives them everywhere. Chris has a wife called Elise, who is a super spy and ninja - though he doesn't know. Often there will be either a subplot about Elise's work or something she is making or inventing will end up being involved in Dan's revenge plans. 

So, first the gushing, why do I love this show so much? Well first of all I fell in love with the animation style, and in particular the way Dan has been designed and how he is animated. His character has a lot of energy, and a really open face with a load of expressions. 

I recently found out that Dan's character, and the other main characters too, were all designed by Chris Battle. If you have't heard of him, he also designed the Power Puff Girls and characters for Dexter's Laboratory. 

Dan is written very well too. I have habit of liking characters who have big flaws with redeeming qualities - and I think he falls into that category. On the one hand he has serious anger issues, is mean to Chris and has no sense of boundaries. On the other hand sometimes his anger is totally valid - for example when a fast-food restaurant gives him cheese on his burger, when he asked for none, clearly, six times. Whilst despite all the crap he gives Chris, you sense there is affection and loyalty there. I did read somewhere that one of the creators thought of Dan as sort of like Calvin, from Calvin and Hobbes, if his life went badly wrong somewhere. I have to agree that there is a very Calvin-equse look to Dan, especially when he does a certain wicked grin! 

Then there is Chris. He's your typical, straightforward nice guy, who's not really good at anything. He may seem like a bit of a push-over, but he surprisingly doesn't always take Dan's crap. He's also a big eater, and he will eat anything, including plastic food. The fact that he's always wearing sandals just seems to sum him up for me - this is a guy who wants to relax, eat and enjoy himself.

Finally we have Elise, who as I said is a spy. So she's very efficient, very intelligent and very deadly - she loves Chris loads but keeps the true nature of her work hidden from him. I like the fact that despite all this strength Elise has her own weakness too - such as her parents, who drive her nuts. My only problem with Elise is that, she started out pretty relaxed about Dan, but in the later seasons it was changed so that she practically hated him and Dan, who never really liked her, didn't like her even more.

I realise this development in her character is fair enough, as Dan regularly manages to get Chris, her beloved husband, thrown in jail and once even poisoned. However, its still a bit sad, as that she's become so mean after being so relaxed and almost part of Dan and Chris' little gang. Dan's has also become meaner to her too, see the example below.

Which brings me to another thing - why is Dan Vs. is on a network for children? I've never quite understood this. I know its a cartoon, but it's sense of humour feels adult, all its characters are adults and they live adult lives. There is also a serious edge to the cartoon. Chris and Elise refer to Dan having not only anger problems but possibly mental issues several times, and its hinted that Dan probably had a neglectful, even abusive childhood. 

Personally, having kids watch Dan also worries me a little. As an adult or teenager you understand that Dan's behaviour is unhealthy and you know things he does are socially unacceptable - like borrowing Chris' toilet paper at 4am in the morning or not paying for a rented cabin. However, young children might not understand that and might even think this behaviour is okay. Then again, I might underestimating the intelligence of kids and worrying a bit to much here - I don't want to go all Mary Whitehouse! 

Nonetheless I do think Dan Vs. should be considered a cartoon for adults too.  Adults would not only appreciate the humour more, but for its also more fun to watch Dan take revenge and win because we can't do that when people annoy us or wrong us, we have to act grown-up.  

I also find Dan Vs. is a refreshing change from other cartoons actually aimed at adults. I'm thinking mainly of Seth McFarlane's cartoons here - which is ironic as the actor who voices Dan also voices Snot from American Dad! Now, I like all McFarlane's cartoons and I enjoy watching them but they seem to rely on shocks alot of the time. And you know what? Just because something is for an adult audience doesn't mean it always needs swearing, sex references or shock jokes. The Simpsons and Futurama managed it without swearing or shock, but let's be honest, the Simpsons has gone past their prime and Futurama is in its last season. 

Okay, I better wrap things - in summary I think Dan Vs. is brilliant. I love the characters, I love the design and I think the stories are great. I think children could watch it, but I personally think adults would get this series more and get more enjoyment out of it. 

At the moment there might be a fourth season on the way, I'm not sure, there has been rumours of a cancellation and the Facebook page has pretty said to stop asking about a fourth season or further DVDs, as its up to the money men, not them. In light of this, I suggest to anyone who likes this show to give it some support. It would be sad to see such a great series go the way of The Critic. 

Scene 64: 4Talent Day - Yay!

Just a quick post to mention that I went to a 4Talent Day in Lincoln yesterday. It was a great day, I made a new friend and did a workshop on standing out from the crowd - which talked about branding yourself, pitching yourself and networking on the internet - and I'm hoping to put some of it into practise over the next few days. 

I'd recommend the days to anyone interested in the media industry - and not only the production and on screen roles either, as several of the speakers pointed out, you can be the media industry and work in an office role, as a lawyer, or in HR, or in PR and marketing. 

There was a good variety of people, some writers like me, some people wanting to be producers, marketers, advertisers, some graphics designers - a really mixed bag! But I think everyone got something from the day, and I think all the speaker's gave everyone a real confidence boost. 

Scene 63: Another Script Scene Extract

So, I haven't got a film to review or a subject really to discuss this week, and I think another list would be taking the form of listing a bit far - a bit ad nauseam. Instead, I've decided to post up an extract from a script I am working on. 

I know that weeks ago I promised I'd actually post up a scene each week , and I know I haven't, so sorry about that - but I'm putting that little idea on hiatus for the moment as my priority is to edit another script, and get this one finished! 

Here's the extract, enjoy!

INT. KITCHEN, MARION'S HOUSE: AFTERNOON

A large living-room in a Victorian terrace house. Hoovering with headphones on, headbanging to the song Who Do You Want to Be Today? by Sumo Cyco is MARION, 36, wearing an Iron Maiden T-shirt.

She stops as her mobile vibrates. She whips off her headphones, kicks the hoover off with her foot and checks the back pocket of her trousers.

She pulls out a red flip-phone - no. Checks next pocket, black android phone - yes.

MARION

(brisk)

Hello?

CHARLIE V.O.

Hi Marion. Its me.

MARION

Hey, what's up? If you're asking what wine to bring, anything but red.

CHARLIE V.O.

I can't make dinner.

MARION

What?! Of course you can make dinner.

CUT TO:

INT. SOHO RESTAURANT, DINING AREA: AFTERNOON

Charlie plods through the dining area of the restaurant where decorators are painting and electricians fitting trendy lights.

CHARLIE

I can't, I feel sick. I'm going home. 

MARION V.O.

It's probably just stress and overwork. I have yucky days like that too. You probably need a break. Come over.

Charlie pauses in the restaurant's small foyer.

CHARLIE

Look I have a migraine, and a neck ache. I just... I just want to go to bed. I think I have the flu. I even canceled all my appointments.

MARION V.O.

Oh. (beat) You must be ill, how are you getting back to your apartment? Do you want me or Danny to come meet you? Pick you up?

CHARLIE

I'm fine. The subway's not far.

MARION V.O.

If you're sure?

CHARLIE

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure. I just want to go sleep. I'll talk to you later.

MARION V.O.

Okay. Bye...

CHARLIE

Bye.

He rings off and walks off into the rain.

CUT TO:

INT. LONDON TUBE STATION: AFTERNOON

Charlie is walking with a stream of people going down steps into the underground. He looks extremely tired, and keeps getting bumped and brushed by other people.

He reaches the platform and leaning against the wall pulls his water bottle from his pocket. Before he can unscrew the cap though a wind kicks up, and the train rockets into the station. It's very full.

The doors slide open and Charlie jumps on.

No seats - he grabs onto the pole above him as more people cram in, leaning his forehead against the metal. Next to him a young man with piercings is listening to thudding music.

The doors bleep and close. The tube train starts off.

There's silence as it roars along. Just the swaying, rocking train.

Suddenly Charlie just collapses. He clips several people as he falls, and smacks into the floor. People gasp, and ask if he's okay. 

The young man with piercings, immediately pulls out his earphones and kneels to check Charlie. He takes his pulse.

He then pulls out his phone and starts dialing.

(C) KCS etc